– Hello, my name is Leo, and I’m privileged.
– Hi Leo.
Today is not about my privileges, because, frankly, you don’t care. Today is about using the word constructively.
Today I will write to those that want to fight privilege, and those that are privileged.
Those that know that it’s not so much about what they have experienced, but what they didn’t have to go through. Maybe they never faced hunger. Maybe they never had to wonder if they would sleep under a roof. Maybe their parents didn’t abandon them, or they never got to witness being part of a broken household.
There are those that didn’t have to, in the absence of older family members, become adults in their childhood. There are those that only saw bombings in video games or movies. There are those that never had to face serious illness, either in their own body or in near family. There are those that never lost any opportunities because they couldn’t read. There are those that didn’t have to cross the ocean to escape from war or slavery, on a boat that would probably drown.
Some of us are living in the 21st century, in a rich country, with the opportunity to pursue what we thought, with 18, was our calling. We perhaps know other languages, or had all the opportunity to do the sports we loved, or could spend our time enriching our internal artist, or enrich our taste buds by experimenting with food. We could maybe travel and see other parts of the world, we could read what we wanted, or spend our time doing nothing. Some of use were just born smarter, taller, or better looking.
But even in those relatively rich countries, privilege is a wide spectrum. Few readers will disagree that things like socioeconomic class, neighborhood, city, familiar environment or even schools can have a massive impact in the opportunities one is able to seize. Opportunity’s might, at first glance, be open to everyone – but there are many factors that will increase or decrease our chances of success. There are many privileges that I’m leaving out. Again, this is not so much privilege itself, but what to do with our knowledge of it.
Now, in relation to my point today: privilege has become an insult. Or maybe it always was. I haven’t understood why. In face of a current unfair humanity: don’t we all prefer that our loved ones be rather from the privileged?
Joan Didion’s words have stuck with me since I first read them. She is talking about the privileged upbringing of her daughter Quintana.
“Privilege” is something else.
“Privilege” is a judgement.
“Privilege” is an opinion.
“Privilege” is an accusation.
When speaking about other peoples privileges, we overlook this: most people don’t like being called privileged. Even when it’s true, and they know it to be true.
Privilege has an undertone of “you don’t really deserve what you have, because it is all based on luck“. Which, don’t get me wrong, is true. Life is a roll of dice, and some people rolled a six when they were born. But because we all only know our perspective, our efforts, our sacrifices, accepting that we’ve come to a certain point because of randomness hurts our ego. And not many like their ego hurt.
And yes, you’re right: people should not have egos. And imagine the audacity of saying that we shouldn’t be harming the feelings of those more privileged than us. It is their problem if they can’t face the reality.
Well, no, it’s actually not their problem solely. It is your problem too if you’re really trying to change something.
When talking to humans, and trying to prove a point, you can’t base everything off of you being right. You need to be aware about how you make the truth come across. And if you’re not able to convey the truth in a way that resonates with the people you’re trying to influence, then it is on you as much as it is on them.
People that insist that it is not their fault how people perceive their message are not focused on the outcome, but on being right.1
When speaking about the topic and highlighting these things to any individual person or group, there are two natural responses (seen to the extreme, as usual, in US politics):
– People get defensive. They argue against it.
– People accept and subordinate. They feel guilty.
Both options are no good. It should be obvious why.
When someone shuts down to the idea of being privileged, they feel bigger than they are. They are going against social cohesion by refusing to find common ground of how we got here. And, most importantly, it will be challenging to find any basis for discussion of how to make a more just society – which most political discussion should be about.
On the other hand, people that can be talked into guilt by anyone who has had less privilege, weaken society. It becomes a competition in which the extremely underprivileged have moral high ground over everyone else. And guilty people start to deconstruct their own privileges. They make their life more difficult, in order to either feel less guilty or gain higher moral ground. But nobody gains anything from people making their own lives more difficult.
What I find especially dangerous in that second scenario, is that it has become the noble thing to do. The reality doesn’t seem to matter as much as your narrative about it. People get rewarded not for what they do to equal the grounds, but what they say about the topic. I always find it fascinating how some of the most elite classes (like Hollywood actors) are being applauded for talking about the topic, as if they were fighting for the unprivileged. Imagine living that extravagant lifestyle and gaining popularity points by tricking the middle class into thinking they should be feeling guilty about their privilege.
It’s not any single’s person fault to be more privileged than somebody else, in the same way, it’s not the other person’s fault to be less privileged. So those feelings of guilt, and the self-sabotage, don’t help anyone.
Because the idea behind it is very noble, going against it is not easy. It’s natural to feel bad that others have not had it as easy as you did. And it is necessary that we all are aware of these things. But the solution is not, and never will be, not making the best of your situation.
Quite the contrary, people that are aware of their privilege should make the most out of it, so they get to a position in which they can change injustices in the future. And along the way, be in a position to help where they can and spread awareness in a constructing way.
Awareness of privilege is essential for a better future, but doesn’t necessarily relate to taking the right actions to get there.
In “The Dangers of Leftist Purism“, Richard Rorty critiques what he sees as a counterproductive aspect of leftist politics: an excessive focus on critique and purity rather than constructive engagement and practical solutions. Overall, Rorty’s essay is a call to balance critique with constructive engagement, urging leftists to focus on actionable and hopeful visions for the future rather than becoming trapped in perpetual criticism of the present.
This is also why speeches like ‘I have a dream’ were such a success. They talked about an ideal that appealed to many people. The predominant message was one of uniting humanity, instead of dividing us in groups. Unfortunately, we’re more focused on the past and the present, rather than finding an ideal again.
Me included.
Something like a conclusion
We have let words like privilege be weaponized by a narrative that cedes moral high-ground to those that feel bad about privilege, rather than those who envision a more just future.
Instead of speaking about leveling the grounds, we’re still separating society into victors (based on arbitrary, random events that happened in their life) and victims (based on arbitrary, random events that happened in their life). The only option people have to gain status based of this situation is to blurb out about what everyone else is saying, and try to make it look as if they really, really care.
In the process, everyone is made to feel bad: either because they don’t deserve whatever good has happened to them in life, or they don’t deserve whatever bad has happened in their life. And that no matter what, the system is rigged and whatever one does can’t change the future: we’re all just really shitty people, and human species is just a struggle between groups and one has to win against the other in order for society to be just.
Way to go.
- As I’m re-reading the last lines, I’m thinking that I have now made myself guilty of the very same thing I’m criticizing. Have I chosen a confrontational tone instead of a constructive one? It’s a difficult endeavor to make other people change their minds. ↩︎
leo burghaus 
Leave a comment